Showing Up

 “In order to be an artist, I must show up at the page.” Julia Cameron

Everyday I show up in front of white space and color it with my thoughts and the medium I’ve chosen for the day. A certain level of comfort is developed after facing the white space each day with courage. It’s wonderful to acknowledge how fast we can actually learn something new if we aspire to learn it, but it is important to keep pushing yourself to try new things.

For my birthday my Mama bought me a beautiful set of high quality watercolors and watercolor paper, I intentionally never purchased the best art tools in the beginning because I didn’t want the added pressure to not waste the paint on top of trying to learn how to paint, and I was on a budget.

So when she and I went to pick out the paints together we discussed the choices for hours at the store before deciding which ones would come home with me. She has done a lot of research about the different paint brands and techniques and I’ve learned so much from her that is very different than the type of creative knowledge I seek out. I’m the abstract to her realistic and we compliment each other very much in our varying approaches to the white space.

I was waiting to open my new art supplies to use on my birthday trip to the beach, I opened each tube of paint lovingly and used it to create the piece you see here. The process of using paint from tubes is something so foreign to me now (I usually use watercolors in trays - it’s easier to travel with) and I felt the perfectionist rising up with each new stroke.

But I persevered because I am familiar with the pattern of my mind when trying something new. It goes like this... “This is fun, this is cool, this is terrible, I can’t do this, I want to stop, this is okay, I’m alright with this” and then finally “I’m proud of you for following your curiosity even though it can be scary.”

Learning new things is scary, loving is scary, creating is scary, but what will the world you make be without learning to lean into the scary to love and create the life for yourself know you deserve?